Last Friday I went to Aditya Birla Hospital for my post
surgery nasal cleaning. At the end Dr.Jaya asked me “so, how is your life going after
surgery”. I told her that I have started this blog .She made a ‘confused’ face
and asked “ ilovefailures, seriously what kind of name is this…I mean everybody
hates to fail”?
I smiled because I was confronting the same question asked
from me several times before. Assuming her to be intelligent, as all doctors
study psychology as a subject and she was the senior most surgeon there, I
briefly explained her the normal stuff that how failure is like ‘vaccination’
which save us from future infections of similar kind etc,etc. Amongst all these
I forgot to tell her the ‘BEST REASON’ for which I love failure personally, the
reason which inspired me to create this blog.
Failure puts you in awkward situations or
frankly speaking ‘helpless’ situations at times. It is the time when you have
to beg or expect for support from people around you. No doubt you beg for
support from
people who are not close to you but you expect it from people who
boast to your ‘near and dear ones’ like family members, close friends,
girlfriend/boyfriend etc.If a person not close to you refuses, you have no
issues but if a ‘near and dear one’ starts giving excuses, try to hide after
doing formality and at last refuses or drifts away from you then it matters
more than anything else.
At
the beginning you try to console yourself that, ‘there must be some problem, he/she
will come back after all we are so close’. As the time passes your ‘self-consolation’
starts fading and you discover that the ‘face’ the ‘Smiling-Supportive-Protective-Possessive-Loving-Friendly-Helping-Cute-Innocent
FACE’ was a ‘FUCKING MASK’(I apologise for the ‘F’ word but it is the true representation
of the devastating emotion).They are also not able to hide their reality as
being close for years you know what is their real situation and what they are
capable of doing at that point of time. The failure like a hammer breaks their
masks, like an acid test it dissolves their mask as they were never ready to
bear the load of your failure. They were parasites surrounding you to suck the
bliss of your good times and when the party was abruptly over due to your
failure they flew to safe hidings waiting for a new prey. The devastating failure
of yours forces them to put their real or ‘WORST FACE FORWARD’.
This ‘dirty show’ injects a pain in your heart followed by a
period of agony, tears, frustration depression, disbelief in relations etc which is accompanied by realisation that it
was a necessary ‘eye opener’ and you
start pondering that ‘why it took so late to happen’. If you are lucky to have
a bunch of ‘near and dear ones’ surrounding you after surviving the acid test you feel ‘BLESSED’. After all
this you end up with a better capability to filter out hypocrites and parasites
from you surrounding and also a stronger
heart to bear any similar future shock. This is the time you start loving your ‘FAILURE’
which you always avoided and hated!! 
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